Various computer programming topics

Mini language intros:
A short description of the main differences and philosophy With a name like Swift, you know there's some funny stuff.
It's all just event-based C# coding, serialization for automatic set-up, and standard game APIs. It's gotten weirder than I remember it
If you base a language on Java, what insane things can you do and still have it be better? Lots. Turns out, it's basically more javascript
It's much better than it looks -- it's mildly amusing! They're not that different
You have to really love classes to try this New frameworks are always better than doing it yourself
There's stuff you'll run into which is from an alternate world where programming was banned, so everyone had to disguise coding advice as the ravings of madmen. Here's some:
People keep recommending these. They're hoping you can figure them out, then explain it to them.
If I explained it to you, I'd be in violation of it.
You know that joke how you solve a jigsaw puzzle the easy way by forcing the pieces? If you like that, you'll love s.o.l.i.d.
Because programming is exactly like solving equations.
As usual, it is neither.
If it's not your first language, you'll need frequent breaks to laugh at it.