Various computer programming topics

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Mini language intros:
A short description of the main differences and philosophy With a name like Swift, you know there's some funny stuff.
Not even an intro. An intro to an intro
It's all just event-based C# coding, serialization for automatic set-up, and standard game APIs. It used to be simple but wordy, right?
If you base a language on Java, what insane things can you do and still have it be better? Lots. Turns out, it's basically more javascript
It's much better than it looks -- it's mildly amusing! They're not that different
You have to really love classes to try this New frameworks are always better than doing it yourself
Turns out you don't need type safety It's a whole web framework, in code
The names of the terms are like crossword clues Java and javascript together at last
Not some add-on. This cumbersome sledge pounds misbehaving events Who would "improve" Perl into this?
There's stuff you'll run into which is from an alternate world where programming was banned, so everyone had to disguise coding advice as the ravings of madmen. Here's some:
People keep recommending these. They're hoping you can figure them out, then explain it to them.
If I explained it to you, I'd be in violation of it.
You know that joke how you solve a jigsaw puzzle the easy way by forcing the pieces? If you like that, you'll love s.o.l.i.d.
Because programming is exactly like solving equations.
As usual, it is neither.
If it's not your first language, you'll need frequent breaks to laugh at it.
A bad implementation of a bad idea.